And the absolute biggest dumbass in distress is…Bella, from Twilight. This has to be the most selfish, male-dependent, uncaring, manipulative, self-centered, pretentious, idiotic, whining little bitch bag you will ever see in your entire life! And, honestly, it wouldn't be too bad of a character, it'd be very, very interesting...IF IT WAS INTENTIONAL! But it's not. Bella is supposed to represent the everyday teenage girl. If that's the case, then the story got really mixed up about who the bloodsucking monster is. She thinks she's tortured, even though, really, she has no problems. She gets a crush on a boy and decides she wants to marry him, even though she's not even out of high school yet. She wants to be turned into a vampire, which everyone has said is throwing her life away. But, of course, at the enlightening age of 17, she already knows EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTS. Aren't you GLAD you followed through with every bright idea you had at 17? Aren't you GLAD you totally committed to something that you knew you could never make a mistake on that age? Oh, yeah, 17. Nobody EVER fucks up at that age! The boyfriend tries to leave her so that he can save her, but she constantly keeps throwing herself off cliffs and putting herself in danger just so he can notice her. Good fucking God. (Bella jumps off cliff.) That’s right, girls; if your boyfriend leaves you, do exactly this. I assure you it won’t backfire in the least. Sure, you might be DEAD, but that’ll teach him!

he then gets another boy involved who actually seems supportive and attentive, but she dumps him because the other guy looks at her weird, and by God, how can she turn down a guy with no personality that just looks at her weird? Again, one of those brilliant choices you make at 17. So now a whole war is going on, all because of her, and everyone is going out of their way to try and protect her, and she’s simply like, ‘Yeah, that’s cool.’ Oh, wait, she does try to say once that she’s not worth it, but that only lasts a few seconds. She then realizes that she IS worth it and is totally on board with having muscle boys carry her around everywhere. And just as her boyfriend finally agrees to marry her – imagine, a boy being pressured into marriage – she dicks around with the other guy yet again. Oh, my God, I mean, OH...MY...GOD. I have never seen a character more needy and more insecure. She’s such a dumbass in distress, that it’s actually kind of scary. She is a scary character. In another dimension, maybe she could have been a great Shakespeare villain; this really complex, developed, psychotic mind. But as the common, everyday, relatable girl that we’re all supposed to identify with? She is, and always shall be, the biggest dumbass in distress.

bill lo relty be like:

"i agree" - shawn hanty